Six things I learned on Sunday

I need to try harder at documenting more on the blog, after all I want this to be a cherished gift I can give to my children.

Today is Sunday and just like every Sunday we went to church. Let me just say that Sundays are a walking contradiction in my life. I love them, I love the spirit I feel when I am there and the lessons I learn and the chance that I get to renew my covenants every time I take the sacrament. I don't love however the battle I have with Jackson every Sunday to get dressed, I don't love that I don't have a companion in the gospel to help me get everyone ready in the morning, I don't love the time during sacrament meeting when my kids bug me for food or drinks when they know they can't have snacks until after the bread/water, I don't love how I hardly ever hear the talks because I am constantly having to tell Jackson to sit down and stop crying or stop hitting your sister or telling Madison to not stand on the pews, or to stop screaming, I don't love how sweaty I get because I am carrying 2 carseats every where I go.

Now do the bad weigh out the good? Sometimes I feel as if they do. For instance today I was at my wits end. I thought about walking out and just going home because seriously how much good is it doing if we aren't actually hearing the talks or testimonies. I stuck with it and sacrament was over and I got to go to class. Of course it was wonderful. Katlin Vest is an awesome teacher and I always learn so much from her. The babies were great for Sunday School. Next it was time for Relief Society and I can honestly say that is my favorite time of the day. There is just a different feel in that room with all the sisters that I could stay all day. Vanessa Rucker taught today and it was awesome.

I was feeling pretty good, thinking the day was going to turn out better than it started. I dropped Mom and the 2 older kids off at home so I could pick up Richard from work. We went straight to the church so I could get set apart (finally) for my compassionate service calling. We also talked to Bishop about some financials and we went on our way. Not even 5 seconds after we got home (hadn't even set the babies or my diaper bag down) and I was bombarded with whiny children asking for all sorts of stuff. OMG, I thought, what the heck! (why can't my children ask their father for things) I snapped and said "Let me change my clothes, maybe go to the bathroom and I will be with you in a minute"

That moment on the night was a train wreck. I snapped at the kids over and over and bedtime was a joke. Finally at 10:00 they were all asleep and it was in that moment that I realized what a maniac I am. I had an ah-ha moment and am quite embarrassed with the way I acted all day. So here are my six things I learned today.

1. My kids do not respond to yelling, in fact they go the opposite direction and act out more.
2. In my darkest hour during sacrament when I felt like walking out, the spirit prompted me to go up and bear my testimony not knowing what I was going to say and it actually made it better.
3. My Heavenly Father loves me even when I am making stupid choices.
4. My kids love me even when I am yelling at them.
5. The Lord has given me this calling of Compassionate Service Leader at this time for me to be humbled and stop dwelling on everything I don't have and look at what I do. Someone out there is always worse off than me.
6. Madison is only 2 1/2 and Jackson is only 4 1/2! I treat them like they are so much older and that needs to stop. They are actually really great kids.

Today was an eye opener. I am ashamed of how I acted today. I apologized to my kids and got them to sleep and I pray that tomorrow is better.