And just because I love him and I can't get enough of his little baby feet!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
So this has been a most rewarding week but also a most challenging week. For those mothers out there you will understand. For those of you who know me you know that I am stubborn and beat myself up for almost everything even if I have no control over it. Well this is again one of those times. I was so determined to breastfeed Jackson that I would stop at nothing. So I did what the nurses said and basically let him sit on my breast most of the day. Well, when we went for his 2 day check up and he had lost nearly a pound I was frustrated. So let him eat and eat and eat thinking I was doing some good. The next day we went back for a weight check and he gained back an ounce I was feeling somewhat optimistic. So we kept doing what we were doing. Jackson is not a fussy baby and he sure as heck doesn't cry for long periods of time so when he kept crying and I kept crying from the excruciating pain coming whenever he latched on we realized something was wrong. So we gave him a formula bottle. Lo and behold he was full, and content and happy and stopped crying. So we decided to have me pump for a while to relieve some pain and also give him the food he needs while supplementing formula. That did not go as planned, after pumping for 2 days and only producing a total of 6 ounces of milk, not having the engorgement like I should and not feeling tender or sore like they should, we realized that breastfeeding just wasn't cut out for us. It killed me to think that I couldn't give to my baby what is best for him. I know it's not his fault or my fault or anyones fault for that matter but it is a battle that I have fought with myself for the last 2 days and it sucks. I wonder if anyone has gone through what we went through? The positive side though is we caught it early enough, he is finally getting what he needs, he is happy, and he gets to have bonding time with daddy (cuz daddy can feed him now). I know we are under a lot of stress right now and that may have caused it to happen but I believe we are doing our best and I know Jackson will be okay as long as we keep doing our best.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas this year was a little different. On monday the moving company came and packed up our house to ship to South Carolina. With nothing but an air mattress to sleep on and the clothes we will be needing to travel our house is completely empty. Christmas was going to be non-existent this year but then a couple of our friends invited us over for dinner and games. Our wonderful friends Lesley and James Bender allowed us to hang out and enjoy the comfort of turkey dinner and games and tv. Sad I know but we have been without a tv or any of our possessions for 4 days and it seems we run out of things to do. It was nice to relax and sit on a couch. :) Jackson was a perfect angel. He is growing into his own personality. We dressed him in some jeans (which he still needs to grow in to) but he was so cute. He slept most of the day but what can we expect from a week old baby.
Today is also Richard's birthday. Any of you keeping track, December is the most busiest month of our lives. Sadly we weren't really able to get away or celebrate his birthday this year so hopefully next year or even in the next months or so we can have a night of our own. I am so grateful for Richard. He is a wonderful man and a great father. He tries to be so involved in Jackson's every moment. Even the times when it is time to feed him, daddy is right there with us lending his support. He is gentle and loving. He is kind and compassionate. He is very calm and collected. He is definitely the mellow one in this relationship. He doesn't let me talk badly about myself and always tells me how much he loves me. He has a way of calming me down during the times when I am at my whits end or ready to cry. He is very involved in his family and does his best to keep in touch. I am so honored to be his wife. He has taught me so much and I look forward to a lifetime of birthdays with him. I love you Richard!!
I have never been so in love. I am so in love with my husband. He is a good man. He takes care of us and is so cute when taking care of Jackson. I love our little guy so much, I never thought it would be this bad but I can't take my eyes off him. I can't even let him sleep alone. :) I am so very lucky to have these to guys in my life. It just makes me whole.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Yay he has arrived. I will just take ya back to when it started. Wednesday morning I woke up with this feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Eventually it dawned on me that I was in early labor. I woke up my mom to make sure I wasn't crazy. I called Labor and Delivery and they told me to go through my day doing what I normally do and see where it goes. It turned out I had my 40 week doctors appointment today as well so I went to that and was told I was just about 3 cm 80% effaced at 0 station. I was very optimistic about that. So for the next 5 hours we walked, rested, cleaned house and waited. Whoever said it is easy to sleep when in labor is crazy. I couldn't sleep and around 4:30 pm I went to Labor and Delivery to get checked. They checked me alright and I was still the same so they told me to go walk around and come back at 7. So we did. At 7 we got checked and still nothing so they sent us home. This is when it got really bad. See my plan was the natural way so sending us home was the way to do it. I attempted to rest but the contractions got so bad all I could do was whine and cry and get through each contraction as it came. I lasted until about 4:30 in the morning of thursday and called the hospital and they said come in. We prayed and crossed our fingers that my laboring hadn't been a waste. When they checked me I was at 6cm and 90% effaced. YAY!!!! I was able to stay at the hospital and continue my laboring there. I did it natural and got in the birthing tub and around 8pm I couldn't take it anymore. I was exhausted. I threw up a few times and was basically hysterical because exhaustion had taken over so I got an epidural. The epidural was in and in effect by 9pm and I passed out for the next little while. It was nice to get some sleep. At around 11 am the nurse came in and checked and it was time to push. Let me tell you pushing on an epidural is very strange. Your legs are dead weight and you have no idea what is going on down there. After 48 minutes of pushing Jackson made his debut at 1:03 pm. I was so overwhelmed with joy and happiness I just cried. And so did Jackson. He came out screaming and letting the whole world know he was alive and well. Richard cut the cord and they put him on my belly. He was the most beautiful baby and just keeps getting more and more beautiful.
The next few days were spent at the hospital. Because of his size they had to check his sugar level 6 times the first day. He weighed 9 lbs 7 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. We were both checked out many many times throughout the two days we were there and never any problems. Jackson is just an amazing baby. He never really cries and is already starting to hold his head up. We are so blessed to have this precious miracle in our family. I am honored that Heavenly Father has given me this opportunity to be a mother and have such an amazing husband who is so anxious and willing to be a good father.
My mom was there with us the whole time and she is such an amazing women. She helped us out so much and is still taking care of us. Without her we would be lost.
I look forward to this new adventure in our lives.
Monday, December 1, 2008
So we went to the doctor today hoping to hear some good news or get things moving, but neither of those things happened. See the hospital has my due date a week later than we do so it ended up being a normal check up. She did check to see if I was dialated and that was negative. She then said that she doesn't strip the membranes until 39 weeks so yes I have one more week to wait. So Richard and I have decided to do everything we could think of. We went to the mall and walked around. Plan on doing that everyday. We don't want to get frustrated but it is sometimes hard not to. WE just keep praying that the Lord will send him with enough time to fly to South Carolina. So cross your fingers that Jackson will make his debut no later than Dec 15. :) More updates later.