Long overdue!

This picture was taken at Louisville KY Applebees the day of my fathers funeral.

I have needed to write this for a while but have kept putting it off because it causes too many emotions. Decided it needs to happen before I start to forget.

My dad was a good man with some bad luck. He was born February 3, 1942 in Michigan. He has 14 brothers and sisters; Ann, Rita, Betty, Don, Jack, Jim, Bruce, Minnie, Diane, Mark, Laura, Elton, Darlene and Paul. He was number 7 in the lineup. Jack, Don and Betty have all passed away as well. Dad died January 22. 2013 just shy of his 71st birthday. He had a bypass surgery at Vanderbilt in November and the day after surgery they found a clot in his leg so operated on it to save his life. They sent hime to a rehab center hoping to get better. It didn't happen and he was back in the hospital on January 21 for another surgery on his leg. He made it through the surgery but wasn't feeling well in his room. Shortly after he went in to cardiac arrest and they couldn't save him. A blood clot made it's way to his heart and he was gone.

I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. I had just woken up with the babies to feed them and my phone rang at 6AM. Everyone knows that phone calls that early are not good. I answered and it was my Aunt Minnie, telling me that Dad had died. I was sad, angry and most of all feeling guilty. She preceded to tell me that my Uncle Bruce was taking care of everything and gave me his number. I hung up and just couldn't hold in my tears. I mean he was only 70, he isn't supposed to die yet. He didn't even get to meet his son-in-law and his 4 grandbabies. That's how long it had been since I had seen him. I had gotten married, and had 4 beautiful children without him. The guilt was strong and I couldn't stop crying. My mom came in the room immediately and I barely got it out. She called Kirk and told him to come over and then she cried.

For the next 3 hours I just sat on the couch in shock and trying to take care of my 3 week old twins.

Over the next couple of days I talked to doctors, nurses, deputy coroners and many relatives. All of the sudden I was in charge and had to make all the arrangements. I couldn't hold it together. I was cranky, and mean. I mean how dare everyone make the mother of 3 week old twins take care of it all. I was having a pity party for myself and neglecting my family.

I somehow managed to figure out everything. We had no money and either did any one else so as an unanimous decision we decided to have him cremated because it was cheaper and the county coroner could do it for us. I spoke with the hospital chaplain and she happened to be friends with the coroner so she helped me get things in order that way. We thought we had it all in order. We were wrong. Due to Dad having so many children and all of us being scattered around the country we couldn't do the cremation like we had planned. They would need written consent (notorized) with valid ID from all 6 of us before proceeding with the cremation. UGH, one more roadblock. I learned all of this on a friday, so I would have to wait until the following monday to know what that back up plan was.

Monday came around and I got a call from the Deputy Coroner. His name is Buddy Dewmyer. He is a sweet man with a very comforting voice. He told me that he wasn't going to do the cremation but could give Dad a memorial service in 4 days on Thursday January 31st. I actually was very happy with that. I don't really believe in cremation but felt it was the only way since I couldn't pay for the funeral. He made it all better. He told me of how the memorial service works and how there would be people there to honor him. I felt much better and knew he would be taken care of. I was still sick feeling that he wouldn't have any family there.

I emailed/facebooked all of the family that i had contact info for and let them know what was going on. Almost immediately Mark responded and said he would be there. Now I was even more at ease because Dads best friend Mark (his brother) would be there. For the next few hours I tried to relax and actually take a nap. Mom called me around 2:00 pm asking me if I wanted to go to Dads funeral. Of course I said yes but knew it was a crazy idea. Well you all know we are crazy.

For the next 10 hours I was making renting arrangements, packing, laundry, shopping for road food, cleaning the house, getting everything in order so we could leave in the morning to drive (yes, drive) to Kentucky. Brother Wade and Brother Thacker came over and gave us blessings for the trip, we are so blessed to have Bryan as our hometeacher. He is truly a man of God. We originally had set up to rent a minivan but the rental place was out of them so upgraded us to an Expedition (blessing #1). Mom picked it up around 10AM, and we got on the road around 1045. Richard was staying behind so he wouldn't miss any school. Kirk went with us. (blessing #2). The day we left it was basically a blizzard here in utah. We were so happy to be leaving, and according to the weather channel it was snowing halfway through Colorado then it was clear and 60 all the way to KY. Needless to say we were hopeful for an easy trip. Kirk drove first and took us almost through Colorado. It was really snowing but it was daylight so not too bad. I picked up driving and was halfway through Kansas when I started getting a bad feeling. I couldn't really see that well and the roads felt very icy. As soon as I felt that, I saw a car in the ditch. Right then I made a decision to get off and get a hotel even though it was already 2 in the morning. We had planned on driving straight through since there were three of us who could drive. That did not go as planned. We got our hotel and slept a few hours. We really didn't want to waste any time so we were back on the road around 830. As I was checking out, I asked the man what happened here yesterday? He then told me how they had a terrible thunderstorm the day before and didn't really think anything of it until they all woke up to 20 degree weather (very unusual in Kansas) which in turn made everything freeze. We just happened to come across it in the county that doesn't salt their roads. We got back on the road and about every 2-3 miles there was another car in the ditch. It was crazy. (blessing #3)

The rest of the way to KY wasn't so bad. It was windy and cold but for the most part once we got out of Kansas the roads were drivable and we made it to Louisville, KY around 11 PM Wednesday night. Dads funeral was Thursday, so needless to say again, we weren't going to be getting any sleep. We clearly didn't know our way around Louisville, so we stopped at the first hotel we saw. UGH, it was gross. WE were so tired that we just took it. Next time I am totally asking to see the room before I pay for it. The beds were horrible. The carpet was sketchy. The bathroom small with no vent and the shower was dirty. It was small and not worth the $75 we spent. I had to leave the babies in their carseats because the beds weren't big enough for all of us. Not my favorite thing.

We woke up and were all ready by 10ish. Dad's funeral was starting at 11. Let me tell you that morning was surreal. I knew we were going to his funeral but it was just not right feeling. We all piled in the car and drove to the site.

The cemetery is designated for persons buried by the state. It is a small little lot next to this elementary school. Dad showed up in a hearse. His casket was blue and very basic. Buddy put together this basic but beautiful memorial. It is a Catholic prayer. Some wonderful boys from the local private school were the pall bearers and did the memorial. It was perfect for the circumstances and I am so grateful to the people that participated. In the middle of the program, Buddy asked if we wanted to say anything. Uncle Mark was sweet and said a few words. He mentioned how Dad was his best friend and he missed him very much. Kirk didn't say anything (crying too hard) and I just mentioned how he is in a better place and hope he can find peace. Mom reitterated Marks words and we shed a lot of tears. It was a very short funeral but it felt really nice to be able to be there. It was a closed casket because we had an autopsy done, but to be honest I am grateful for that. I want to remember my Dad as a young man with 5 kids who coached my softball team and who loved to fish. It was very wet and cold that we couldn't walk to the actual site where they would lay Dad so we just watched them take him over there. Jackson thought it was cool, cuz Grandpa Hurlburt was being carried by a tractor over to his grave site. As we were watching, I was able to talk to some very sweet folks. 2 men and 1 woman. The men live in the neighborhood and keep watch on the cemetery (so sweet) and the woman is there for support and made the programs. I just wanted to put all 3 of them in my pocket, they were all so adorable and nice. The boys that were there are part of a club at their high school that does these types of funerals. When a person can't have a regular funeral, or has no family or their family can't pay then Buddy calls up the boys and they come to offer support and read the prayer. It is truly an act of service and I will forever be indebted to these boys. Such a bright example in this sinful world.

After the service, we drove to Applebees for some lunch. Uncle Mark treated. It was so wonderful to catch up with him. We talked about all the family members and just had a wonderful time. He just loved the kids and they took a liking to him. We were pretty much the only people in the restaurant so all the employees just couldn't wait to see the babies and come and chat with us. It was sweet. We got some pictures, gave lots of hugs and parted ways. I was so grateful that he could come down to say goodbye.

We headed right out of town after that. Our next stop was going to be Texas to surprise MawMaw!!!!!