Happy Easter!

Easter this year was pretty chill. We had a nice dinner and the kids each looked for eggs and received one gift. I am sick of having to make each holiday so elaborate and over the top. I want to start focusing on what the holiday means and the spiritual part of it. I did dress the kids up all cute like and take pictures of course. On the way to church we discussed what Easter mean't and the kids had a nice time during church. Uncle Kirky came over and the rest of the evening we just spent hanging out. Daddy had to work of course so he didn't get to spend the day with us. I look forward to the day he doesn't have to work sundays.

Daddy's Little Cowboys!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

I am blogging a weird order but I need to get these memories down before I forget. This year we got shirts for all the kids which came in handy because we wore them whenever we went somewhere during the week of spring break so we could tell we were all together. Nothing crazy happened but it is fun to take pics of the kids.

Hogle Zoo

March 13, we went to the Zoo. It was Richard's spring break week and we tried to make it memorable. I posted earlier about the Provo Beach Resort, well part of that same week we went to the Zoo. They finally have the Bear exhibit up and I was so excited. We got some great pictures of all the animals and the kids had a blast. The babies slept pretty much the whole time. I carried Logan in my Moby Wrap and Madison rode with Savannah in the stroller. I love my double stroller for purposes just like this. Unfortunately the zoo is not that big, so we were in and out in about 2 hours. We drove around Salt Lake and checked out the surrounding areas. I just love driving and checking out scenery.

Before I forget

I had a mini heart attack last Thursday. Richard had helped me take the kids to the playground and he was gonna run home and shower then come back and hang out. While he was gone, Savannah was a wreck. She wouldn't let me put her down and wouldn't stop fussing/crying. I looked up and saw Madison climbing a S shaped ladder on the playground. I knew she was too small for it but she is so determined to do what the big kids do. She was doing just fine but a part of me knew I should be there to help her. I walked over with savannah still in my arms. The top of the ladder is about 2 feet away from the landing and she missed it. She fell but caught a hold of the landing with her hands. That didn't last long, and she fell onto the ground on her back. I instantly set Savannah down in the sand and went and picked up Madison. Luckily there was another mom there that picked up Savannah to calm her down while I tended to Madison. She was crying in a way that I had never heard. I was panicking. I called Richard and told him to come now! I checked her over and she seemed fine. She really just had the wind knocked out of her. It was so scary. She did get a big scrape on her back but overall was unhurt. I am so grateful for Madison's angels that day because who knows what could have happened. It is at least a 5 foot drop onto kitty litter type sand. Not a pretty picture.

Battle with myself.

I've always been the type to please everyone else and I can't change that. Or I don't know how to change it. I even do it with my husband.

Before I had Jackson I was a partier. For about 10 years I led a life that was unworthy and sinful. I may not regret those years because I have learned so much but I do wish I could forget it. Unfortunately I have the ability to get addicted to things and since drugs and alcohol were part of those years it is hard to forget. I am surrounded by all these reminders of my past and I just want to get away. I know for a fact that my children saved me. If it wasn't for them I would probably still be in the same spot.

Tonight I went to pick up Richard from work and had some time to visit with some old coworkers. Let me tell you I miss it. I'm being completely honest. Richard is going to be hanging out with some people from work this Sunday and I am jealous. I hate that I am jealous!!! I know it is wrong and I know how it makes me feel afterwards but I still miss it. What makes it even worse is there will be people there that I do not care for and Richard will most likely be the only one that is married and it upsets me. Its not the life I want so why do I miss it?