The ever changing Jackson.

This is my sweet little boy who usually wants to help and is so good at helping.
Lately he has turned into this emotional little thing that gets his feelings hurt so easily and cries at the drop of a hat. I am not sure what is going on. For instance today, he put in a Thomas movie and I was skipping the previews to get to the movie and he just pouted up his bottom lip and tears started welling up in his eyes and almost instantly screamed "NO". I didn't understand. I thought he wanted to watch the movie. "why do they put previews on kids movies anyway?" I had to cuddle him for a good 5 minutes and rewind it to the silly previews so he would calm down.
I have never experienced this before so it is new to me on how to handle it. He is mostly a very happy boy, but these moments are so hard. I guess I will just do my best and by the time I figure it out a new stage will come around. :)

It's catch up time!!!

So we finally got a computer. YAY! Let me just sum up the last 6 months. We moved on September 30th to an apartment in Orem. LOVE IT. It is less expensive rent and utility wise. It is all one level so we don't have to worry about the babies and it actually has enough space for us. We are enjoying our time here so far.

October brought mom's birthday and Kirks birthday. November brought Thanksgiving.

December brought all sorts of holidays/celebrations. Our anniversary is on the 8th which fell on a Thursday this year. Richard had class on Thursdays until 9pm so we couldn't go out that day, so we planned for Saturday the 10th. Lo and behold we both got scheduled to work even after requesting it off so we worked. BLAH! The next day after church we went to Chili's. That was our big 4 year anniversary celebration. :(. The 18th is Jackson's birthday. WE had a wonderful breakfast. (I started a tradition of making a big breakfast with heart shaped pancakes for the birthday person) We spent the day playing games, running around, watching movies, building tracks with cars, eating cake, opening presents. We made finger foods so we could just snack and enjoy one another's company. He really had a wonderful time and it was a perfect birthday. Dec 24, Richard and I worked until about 7ish. We made it home to play some games and eat junk. My favorite part was getting Jackson to bed so Santa could come. :) We put out the presents. It was a very good Christmas this year. The next morning Mom and I woke up around 630 to start all the food. Church was a 11 so we had to get stuff done before the kids woke up. Madison woke up at 730 so we woke up Jackson. Oh man was it so fun watching them open presents. Jackson is finally understanding what's going on so he had a blast. Madison loved her baby doll, she would not let go of it. We ate a wonderful breakfast then all got ready to go to church. They only had sacrament which was nice. The rest of the day was spent setting up the kids new toys and playing, eating and sleeping. We were truly blessed this Christmas. Dec 27 was Madison's birthday. We took her to build-a-bear and got her her very own stuffed animal so she would leave Jackson's alone. She loves it. That night we had cake and ice cream. Also loved that. Needless to say December was a fun filled month.

January brought a new year and lots of changes. Richard started class on the 9th. My schedule changed. Jackson is now "free" years old and he is a changed little man. He is such a helper and always loving on Madison. As of the 10th he has been pacifier free and it is such a difference. He talks so much and is such a happy little boy. We carry on conversations about everything. It is so fun to hear him speak and see him grow. Madison is 1 and she is a little spitfire. She is a very determined little girl. She will not stop until she has what she wants. And she knows what she wants, she won't settle. I love it.

We are currently still waiting for Richards school money (about 2500 dollars). Because of this we experienced a very hard thing yesterday. At 6 AM, Madison woke up (she never wakes up this early). I gave her some milk and changed her diaper. As I walked back to my room, I heard a loud vehicle outside so decided to look. A man was shining a flashlight into our car! I woke up Richard in a panic. We stood on the balcony for a bit and realized he was taking the vehicle. My plan was to catch up on the past due balance with the school money, so we pretty much knew we were screwed when the money didn't show. We ran outside to see if we could get our stuff. He let us. We grabbed everything we could think of. I cried for hours. Mom went to work. Richard walked to class and I slept for 2 hours. I woke up around 11 and started making phone calls. It was then I learned that we were not getting the car back. We had to pay it off in order to get it back (we still owed 20,000 dollars) or get refinanced. Neither one of the options would ever happen so we discussed it and realized this was for the better. The Lord knew our stresses and hearts and knew we didn't really want a $552 car payment so he took it away. They are going to auction it off and we will go from there. I called our insurance and cancelled that, we have $43 coming back (blessing). In the long run this will be worth it. We will have to work really hard to get back on our feet and get a different form of transportation but this is what we have been praying for.

I know the Lord loves us and is watchful over our every need and desire. I am grateful for my family and great friends. Because of Chad and Sara Gibbons, I can now update my blog as often as I would like. Thanks for the computer.

Its summer!

Happy Summer everyone. I am excited but not excited at the same time for summer to be here. My children love being outside and this is Richards first summer with us so I am thrilled to make memories but because our air conditioner is on the fritz and doesn't make it any cooler than 82 degrees in my house I am not thrilled for the summer.

In May we took Madison for her 4 month appointment. She weighed 16lbs 4 oz and was 26 inches long. Still my big girl. She is in the 75% across the board. We can't get enough of her. Even Jackson adores her. They have a bond that I will never understand. Jackson can get her to laugh harder than anyone and she instantly calms down if he comes near her. She absolutely loves him.

Madison's new accomplishments:
-she can say baa, daa and laa
-she still sleeps 10 hours a night
-she started cereal 3 weeks ago and carrots and sweet potatoes this week.
-she rolls all over the place
-she loves her walker
-she grabs for her toys
-she is starting so scoot
-she responds when you call her name
-she found her feet last week
-she is starting to push herself up on her hands
-she laughs
-she smiles

She is really a wonderful baby. I have been truly blessed with the children I have been allowed to raise.

Two weeks ago we went in for a recertification at WIC. Madison still weighed 16 lbs and Jackson is up to 40lbs. He is so big to me. He stands at 37 inches too. He is at the 90% across the board. We definitely need to get him into football as soon as possible. LOL

Jackson can do:
-he can count to 4
-he can identify any vehicle that he sees
-he loves building with his blocks
-his vocabulary is growing every day.
-he speaks in sentences
-he brushes his own teeth
-he can put on his own shoes
-he can dress himself
-he loves to run
-he would stay outside all day if we let him
-he loves to sing (and surprises us with how many songs he knows)
-he loves to help cook
-he tries to do the dishes
-he loves helping with sister
-he feeds himself (and recently has stopped making messes)

He is so smart and I look forward to where he goes in life. I see him doing big things. He is a wonderful big brother.

Richard started working at the Olive Garden again. We really needed it. I am anxious to pay off bills and finally get caught up but will miss all of the time we got to spend with each other. Mom also got a job so that means no more nanny for us. Richard and I will be working opposite schedules so we won't be seeing much of each other. Only 3 more years of this.

This post has gone on for a long time so I will stop now. Until next time.

Constants!

I have been reflecting on my life and trying to think positive thoughts. I was finding myself getting annoyed and short with Jackson and realized it was me not him. I am too stressed. I stretch myself too thin these days and I have decided that needs to stop and slow down. There are only 4 constants in my life-Richard, Jackson, Madison and my Heavenly Father. I need to focus on those 4 people and stop worrying about the petty stuff.

-a clean house doesn't matter if Jackson wants to play
-i can do laundry when the kids are sleeping
-making dinner should be a family affair, to build memories and love
-what others think or say about me or my family does not matter
-madison needs to know that mommy loves her
-jackson needs to know that mommy loves him
-richard needs my full support and attention when he requires it ( i admit he gets neglected more than anything)
-i need more me time
-money does not solve problems
-my job is my job, and my family is my family ( they shouldn't mix)

I am truly grateful to be a mother to the most wonderful children. They each have their own little personalities and it is so fun to watch them grow.

Madison just had her 2 month check up (even though she was 3 months old)

Weight 12lbs 1 oz (57%)
Length 24.5 inches (93%)
Head 15 inches (70%)

The doctor said she is doing wonderfully. She is my tall skinny girl. I love it, not sure where she got that from but love it. What she likes to do:
-she belly laughs
-she is constantly smiling
-she is most talkative right when she wakes up
-she loves to lay on the floor and play right along side Jackson
-she found her hands
-she knows mommies voice
-she doesn't like to be held face in, she wants to see the world
-she is scooting on her back
-she can grab her toys on her playmat and loves to put them in her mouth
-she puts herself to sleep
-she sleeps through the night for 10 hours at a time
-she takes only 1 long nap during the day and about 5 cat naps
-she eats about 30 oz of formula a day

We just love our little Maddie Bug.

Do you ever just feel inadequate?

Lately I have been a little stressed. Richard is going to school and I made the decision to let him have the semester off from working. Well I am not really sure if I will do that again. I am the only one working and it is hard. I have to put in at least 30 hours just to make it work, which means 5 days a week. We are a month behind on every single bill and our taxes are just going to catch us up not put us ahead at all. It is really heart wrenching to know that we don't have a savings, we can barely pay our car payment or insurance and sometimes we have to scrounge around to buy diapers. Mom is trying to find a job to ease the burden which is very sweet of her, but at times I just can't take her money. So in turn, I will still be working but maybe just not as much. I have so much respect for women who work full time and keep their house and family perfect. After work I just can't relax, I need to spend time with my kids even if I am tired, but I am always tired and end up being grouchy. I need to find a balance. But then there are days when I am not working, I need to be super mom. I can't allow anyone else to take care of my children or my house. I need to clean and make 3 meals a day and make sure there is enough play time inside and out and the babies are fed and clean and bills are paid and anything else that needs to be done. Like today I have already started 2 loads of laundry, fed madison, made breakfast and cleaned the kitchen. It is frustrating when I don't get all of it done and I find myself going to bed still thinking about it and feeling like a failure. I also have a really hard time asking Richard to take over some of the duties. (actually i get frustrated having to ask him, in my perfect fantasy world, he just knows what he has to do and does it without me asking, but that isn't reality). I hate feeling small and like I am not doing enough. I know my kids aren't neglected, the bills get paid (late sometimes), dinner is made most of the time, we have a lot of fun together and my children are happy children but I still feel this way and I wish I knew how to get over it. My inadequacy is probably my own doing and thinking but it is still there. Am I alone? Does anyone else feel like this? We will see.

Madison Susan Dalton

So I don't have any pictures just yet, sadly our camera doesn't have the correct cord to connect to the computer. So my story will have to do for now. December was a very busy month. We celebrated our anniversary on the 8th with dinner at Tucanos (brazilian buffet) and then watched some movies at home. Not a huge celebration but all we could afford. December 18th was Jackson's birthday. This year was a little get together with just his family. We had a sports theme with chicken alfredo to eat and yummy cake and ice cream. Jackson scored some more hot wheels, a play mat to run his cars over, and a nerf basketball hoop. He loved all his toys and just being the center of attention.

We had decided not to celebrate christmas until after Madison was born to ease some stress on all of us. So December 25th was celebrated with Richards birthday. This will probably be the one and only year where he actually gets his birthday celebration on the right day. Poor guy.

December 27th is a very special day. We went to the doctor for my 39 week appointment and Dr. Judd asked if we wanted to go to the hospital that day? Hallelujah! We went home and packed and waited for the nurse to call us in. The nurse called at about 1215 and we arrived at the hospital around 1245. We checked in and got all settled. They got me hooked up to the iv and machines and around 2:00 they started my Pitocin. The contractions were very slow and far apart at first and not very strong. We watched TV, played cards, just hung out. Around 4 the anestisiologist called my nurse to ask if I wanted my epidural because he was going to be in a C-section until about 630. I opted to go for it so I could just relax. I got the epidural around 5 and immediately after, they broke my water. Luckily I didn't feel any of it, so for the next hour I was just relaxed and enjoying my time. Around 630 I got a new nurse and she came in to check me. I was only at a 3. No big deal, I had time and the epidural was working its course. I took a little nap, played some cards with richard, read a little in my magazine, but mostly just napped. At 8 my mom looked at my monitor and said she couldn't see my contractions. The machine wasn't picking them up. We started getting nervous but luckily the nurse came in almost immediately. She decided to check me and see what was going on, well lo and behold it was time to push. She ran out and got Dr. Judd and all the nurses, pediatrician and anyone else who needed to be there. They took my bed apart, put up the stir ups, got the bags ready for dirty laundry, set me up and Dr. Judd said push, but then preceded to make a joke (don't ask what it was) and I laughed instead of push and she came right out. If the nurse hadn't have come when she did, Madison would have birthed herself. She was that far along and the top of her head was already out. Madison was born at exactly 9 pm on December 27th 2010. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 21 inches long. Her head was 13 inches. She looks just like her brother which means she looks like her daddy. She had a full head of brownish blonde hair. She was perfect. We are so happy to have this little lady in our lives. She has definitely brought a new spirit to our home and we are so blessed to be given the opportunity to be her parents.

Just some happenings

The Dalton household is busy. Not always a productive busy but we try. Daddy came home on September 22nd. It sure is a blessing to have him back. He came back just in time to help mommy during the last trimester of her pregnancy. It only took Jackson about an hour to warm up to him and they have a good relationship that is growing more and more everyday.

We left and went on vacation for about 10 days. It was awesome to not have to worry about work for a week and just be lazy. Something I haven't done in a long time. Jackson had fun with his second cousin William. It was fun for him to have someone other than mommy, daddy or grandma to play with. I will post pictures and more story later.

We started back at work on monday. Richard came back to the Olive Garden. It only made sense to come back to a flexible job for when he starts school in January. Most of our days consist of working, playing with jackson and trying to get things sorted out for school, insurance and the new baby to get here.

Speaking of new baby, we have decided to name her Madison Susan. We loved the name Madison and Susan is Richards late moms name. We feel really good about this, and can't wait for her to join us. I have hit the 7 month mark and am starting to feel uncomfortable and tired more but am still okay to work. I plan on working as long as I can. The doctor said she will probably be a big baby, so we are definitely going to induce early. I can't handle another 9 pound baby. LOL

Overall we are doing pretty well, and are mostly happy. We just have a lot of waiting going on.

Jackson loves laying on the floor with daddy

This was our little trooper while travelling.